Travis Hunter, His Fiancée, and My Blaque Business.

I am a teacher and have been on holiday for a week, and I have one more week to go. In this week, I do nothing. A perfect vacation to me is a time to overeat, sleep too much, watch too much TV, and scroll through mind-numbing social media pages. I want to nap in front of the TV before vacuuming the crumbs of my favorite snacks off my furniture! I want to wander around the house with my favorite coffee cup while wearing my caftan. In the middle of that, I will manage to snap just enough selfies to let people know that I am still alive and moving. Scrolling is one of those things that I will give up in 2025. Amid the Diddy-Beyonce-Swifties-Wicked-Election-Podcast-Red Balloon Obsessions, there is Travis Hunter and his fiancé.

Everyone is obsessed with this young man, who just received a Heisman trophy under the leadership of Coach Prime. A few clips did not shine a flattering light on the validity of their relationship...but it was a short clip. After this clip...the world has decided that she is the villain in his story. So that you know, I am not qualified to hand our relationship advice. I am new to this myself. However, the people with the most to say about this young man’s relationship are those who have (or are currently) toxic in their relationships. They are taking small clips and pieces of what she has said-stretching, twisting, and then “Frankenstein-ing” a theory about them- not because they care about these people....but for social media clout. People who don’t know them are creating whole podcasts about their relationship....based on clips and not from personal relationships. No one has sat with this man or his fiancé to interview them. Travis Hunter and his fiancé have made it clear that they have chosen each other. They have been together for 5 years (from what I gathered online). Therefore, She is HIS CHOICE...Case Closed! Let’s go back to celebrating his Heisman trophy win- a kid who had a tragic upbringing...has put in the work and EARNED a Heisman trophy! He also had a 4.0 GPA! He also has Coach Prime as a mentor. I trust that Coach Prime, who has a personal relationship with Travis, will give him the advice necessary to be successful in life! Meanwhile, we are still thinking about our business. An NFL player in a toxic or healthy relationship is less important than our personal growth and the relationships we nurture!

But I’m wondering if this is deeper. Let’s step away from random young celebrity relationships and ask ourselves, “How do we respond when someone steps outside a box you created for them?” Why do we get so anxious when someone chooses different from us? Why does it vex us? Why do we make the choices of others the determination of how we will have them in our lives? Exiting a world that utilized excommunication and other forms of emotional abuse as tactics for manipulating someone to live in my self-created box, a therapist and shadow work was the best way to navigate the answer to the question.  

As I continued on my healing journey from past trauma, one area in which I experienced healing was the assumption that everyone had to do everything the same way. This assumption, deeply ingrained in societal norms, often leads to judgment and intolerance. I grew up in a world that taught that there was only ONE way to get to Heaven...like down to only ONE way to convey a person’s trust in Christ...if they did not get the script right...We used every rebuttal and Bible verse to “save “their souls from...” HEY-ell”...LOL! We were also taught that there was only one way to raise “GODLY” children...spankings! There was only one way to be modest...skirts! There was only one way to be faithful: be at church EVERY Sunday and schedule your vacations around Sunday services. There is only ONE way to date...go to church, and one day, your husband will appear in your row! There was only one way to hang out with your friends...Coffee shops & Target! One way to ring in the New Year...Watch- Night service... In the area of education, there were two choices...Christian school or Homeschool...

I could go on and on, but you get the point. Going in the same direction means we must agree with each other’s paths, choices, and goals. God healed me from viewing people who make different choices than me as wrong. He did it by directing me to the Gospel. Jesus is the most outstanding teacher of all. He had a different way of reaching each of his disciples, multitudes, and individuals. Jesus met them where they were. He respected them. The GOAT of Educators gave each individual he encountered the freedom to walk away. He never left them. He also did not deviate from His path to chase after them. His love was so big that He saw their heart even when they hurt Him. He saw their perspective. He is gentle, kind, loving, and safe. I choose to be everything that He is!

So, this means that I must be a SAFE SPACE! I strive to be someone anyone can talk to. I don’t run around with my “hair on fire” when someone opens up to me. I choose to be warm and inviting to all. I prefer to be affirming of all! God is love. I am not enabling any behaviors that would cause harm. I also don’t make it about me...and being right. If something is wrong, I ask God for “Divine Alignment” in their lives. I trust in God. I know He is powerful enough to make every crooked area straight. He is our Savior, Comforter, Strong Tower, and Provider. Even more importantly, God SEES ALL....not just the clips we observe in a glimpse. He knows way more about situations than we could ever know. God is working through situations, refining lives, and upgrading us! Being a safe space for others is crucial in our journey of personal growth and understanding of others.  

Everyone has a place of equality at my table, including me. I am not at the head of my table pouring out wisdom—that is too much pressure! God is Wisdom. At my table, I am there to listen, observe, and celebrate the perspectives of others. I choose authentic learning. I am also here to share my perspective—from a place of equality! Genuine connections make our journey of personal growth and understanding of others significant and engaging.

Since God has healed me in this area, I am on the road to deeper relationships with myself and others. I have less stress, anxiety, and depression in my life. I have learned how to love on a deeper level. I have been free to be more vulnerable with God, as who I truly am is revealed- An exhilarating journey!

 2025 will be the year that I end mindless scrolling on social media. There is so much land to possess in my life. My husband and I are committed to allowing the Gospel to be the center of our marriage. Therefore, we are choosing to ignore the voice of mass social media. The opinions of mass media are starting to look like truth. I am not inviting you to the anti-social media era. I took a step back from being influenced by the views of people who make false assumptions based on a clip. I wish there were a way to delete ALL my comments on random people’s clips. I am reinventing myself as a woman who is minding my blaque business and pushing towards a peaceful and successful 2025...a personal journey!

As for Travis Hunter, he chose his fiancé... 5 years ago...

I commend him on not allowing the masses to dictate who he loves! They have already been through enough disappointment & heartache, so I pray that whatever is crooked will be straightened. I pray that God will protect their hearts. Whatever is for them will stay with them, and what is a distraction will leave. God loves them, too! I will continue to be proud of this man for defying the odds and earning a Heisman trophy and a 4.0 GPA! But SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT QUALIFIED TO AFFIRM OR DENOUNCE ANYONE’s LIFE CHOICES.... IT IS NOT REAL! We are too bright to follow the opinions of trolls!

But at the end of the day, I do not know this person. He is not in my sphere of influence. He does not make up a single portion of the Blaque business! So, in the words of Dr. Ru Paul... “If they ain’t pay’n yo’ bills, pay dem folks no mind!”

The Adebisis have too much land to possess. We will not focus on celebrity trends!  

I pray for each person to have a safe & happy New Year!  

One way that we are starting the year right is through 21 Days of Prayer. The 21 DOP event is taking place January 5 - 25th. For more information, here is the app that I use: https://prayfirstapp.com/

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