Summer Hiccups...

So, this has been an amazing summer. I started my summer with bariatric surgery (VSG). I was given the opportunity to sit in a chair and binge watch various TV shows while I healed. It was glorious! I mean I walked 20 minutes every two hours, drank water, and took in 60 - 80 grams of protein every day. This sounds easy, but there were days that this was harder than any task I have ever completed. Three weeks post-op, I taught summer school, helped lead a small group through the story of Ruth (by Kelly Minter), paid off my car (a huge bizarre fiasco), and then book my Christmas vacation to Hawai'i (thanks to my brother)! I also travelled to New Orleans to support my sister's Essence Film Festival Award WINNING film, and then to the Tampa, Florida area. Besides the flight back (Delta Airline)

being strange, it was the best vacation ever.

It is crazy how God can bless me in every area. God can give me stuff that I don't even have the propensity to ask for. God can give me complete favor with family, friends and strangers, yet, as soon as I go through a few simple hiccups, I am knocked off my game ---Sidebar: This is why I connect with the villain of the Bible, and not the hero--- In my life I am more "Children of Israel walking through the desert for 40 years" than I am "Moses- The Meekest Man Who Ever Lived!"

This summer I had a few hiccups. I had a weird and bizzar fiasco happen with my car. It was a clerical error, due to my car company going bankrupt. My car was repossesed for a day. They even acknowledged that this was their mistake. They told me I had 1 week to pay the car off +$600 towing fee. I shared it with some co-laborers in the ministry (who were dear friends of mine). I only shared it with them because I wanted them to join with me in prayer as I figure this out. That is not how it was received. The text messages I recieved back was judgemental, reprimanding and demeaning. It was very discouraging. I am working on not internalizing everything-trying to figure everything out for myself. This is something that I am confident is God's will for my life. Being transparent with the wrong people knocked me off my game for a minute. Through this I realized the importance with praying about something and then listening to God as he directs my steps to whomever I am to share my burdens and blessings with. At the end of the day, God took care of it, in the best way possible--He is that kinda God!

The other hiccup is a long and weird story full of lunacy, severe undiagnosed and severe obsession...like Lifetime Movie level stuff! I really don't want to give attention to the back story, but someone from my past (in a cult) whom I thought was committed to healing and rescuing victims of this particular cult (so they said) decided to post outlandish lies about me. It is not the behavior that bothered me, it is the fact that the people who believed her has known me since the 1980's! One friend, in particular, had just been on the phone telling me how much my writing brought tears to his eyes and how much he loved every person in my family. He and I graduated from Kindergarten together. Anyway, they have continued to believe that I would harass, blackmail and even send death threats to keep her from "exposing" the "truth! (LOL)" I have gone through windstorm of emotions...funny, hilarious, angry, frustrating, sad, back to hilarious! I mean, I'm bossy, talkative, silly, forgetful...but DEATH THREATS!!!! Surely, no one would believe that...But they did. One-by-one those friends who have known me since I was 5 years old deleted/ blocked me (without even a phone call). I have tried to pray for her, but then I get off my knees and cuss her and her followers out in the shower. I pray for her some more, then I imagine myself in her city beating the (u know what) outta her and her peeps.

There is nothing more annoying than a "Keyboard Confident Karen" that tells lies.

I continued this cycle of pray then cuss...until 21 Days of Prayer.

So, we are in day 3 of 21 Days of Prayer. I'm driving to 6am prayer, and (after cussing her out in the shower this morning and clowning her to myself in front of my steering wheel) God got my attention. I felt sorry for her. She is trying to out run her own trauma in her own strength. I whisper to God "God, change my heart about her!" I said that ONE time. I walked in the prayer service and a supernatural peace came over me. I surrendered. I can not pray for her healing and curse her in my heart. I also can not change my heart. I need Jesus for that! I spoke Jesus over her and her followers. Even though this is a work in progress, a surrendered life means that I must fight against the temptation to backslide into ill-will and retaliation against her. I choose Jesus! I can speak a blessing over her, not because of me, but because that is what the Gospel has given me the grace to do. I'm no longer shaken, I am free. This freedom is not dependant on the actions of others (she can continue to do her worst) it is dependant on the empty Grave that speaks a Word of Life over my spirit. Whether or not the Truth comes out is no longer relevant to me. I choose to follow the Way found only in Jesus.

"I speak a supernatural blessing over her!"

This afternoon, I thought about all of the vibrant friendships that I made. For every one that I lost, I gained 5-10...in counting. God used this girl to prune symbiotic and fruitless relationships from my life-for that I am grateful! My summer began with bariatric surgery. In less than 8 weeks I am diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol FREE. I am down 46+ LBS, and I have more energy than I could ever imagine...I would not have been successful without the support of my thriving, loving and prayer warrior-ing friends that God placed in my life. I am looking forward to more that God has for me.

Whew, I guess I did have a pretty full summer. Now, I can see why I was ready to get back to work!

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