'dem Seven Demons

Luke 8:2...along with some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases. Among them were Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons;

I remember sitting on the couch at therapy. My therapist asked me, "Sharon, how do feel about sitting on the beach, alone with just your Bible, a pen and a journal?" Immediately, I was triggered and full of anxiety. At that time in my life, alone was equal to rejection. Quiet meant being alone with all of the voices, habits, and replaying of past trauma, tragedy and mistakes. Alone was bad. Quiet was terrifying. My demons would never allow this phenomena called "Quiet" to happen in my life.

Many people watched the 1973 adaptation of "The Exorcist." You would think that growing up in a cult, I would have not watched this movie, but I did. I remember it came on television when I was a young child. I probably watched this movie without my parents knowledge because this one thing I know...There is nooooooooooooooo (x's a million) way in Hades that Reverend Darcel & Gale McCoy would allow me to watch any movie about demons. I mean, my dad stopped us from watching "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" because it was too demonic (LOL). This movie somehow got lost in the shuffle. Now that I think about it--I probably watched it while my favorite cousin was babysitting us.

ANYWAY-- This movie became a cult classic. It defined what being demon possessed was: A girl screaming out babblings, threats and craziness while spewing out green pea soup with unbelievable flexibility! I think that allowing the entertainment industry to give me a visual about this spiritual concept has caused me to mis-define what demon possession truly is.

Here is Mary Magdalene, who had been cured of SEVEN demons. Many would assume that she was the town crazy person. Walking around dirty, spewing out babblings, with dirt all over her face, green teeth, torn & dirty clothing, body odor, and messy hair. However, as I look at my testimony, and how demons have presented themselves and overtaken me, I see something completely different. I see a beautiful woman. A woman that people would assume has everything she ever wanted. The perfect aesthetic. White teeth, great hair, a great shape and the perfect fashion sense. A woman who is committed to making sure everyone sees her as #BLESSED! I see a woman who has a flourishing social media presence, the perfect family, great family pictures, and a great circle of friends who are oblivious to the fact that she is struggling. Everyday, she hopes that no one sees the SEVEN demons that she is fighting ferociously: food addiction, self-hatred, rejection, soul-ties, trauma, depression, severe anxiety. Everytime she thinks she has destroyed one demon, one more shows up. Behind her beautiful smile, great sense of humor she is exhausted and tired. Quietness reminds her of the wars she must fight. Therefore, quietness are her triggers. Even though she memorized Psalm 23 before she was five years old, she can not comprehend why someone would want to be still and alone by a rippling stream. That just sounds lazy to her. Everytime she is in the quiet, she is overcome by past trauma, lists of achievements she needs to attain, and then her defenses come back up. This has affected many of her relationships. She sees people around her, but she is so bound that she can not believe or feel their love for her. She feels the need to prove her worth to them. She also secretly resents them because of this. So, while she looks perfect--she is dying inside. Then she whispers, "God my Father, Help," then she dies.

THEN THE LORD RESCUED HER

Psalm 23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

God restored me by placing people in my life anointed in mental health therapy. He sent me on a journey of fasting, consecration and aloneness with him. I didn't realize how much I was already alone and hidden with Christ-while being healed from loneliness. There were times that I kicked against the protection of God. Every time His love would bring me back to a place of rest. Eventually, I became tired of wrestling with Him and surrendered to His love. He placed me in a community that showed me what true love was. I am around women on fire for God whose presence in my life move me closer to Him. He unveiled a teachable and humble spirit within me. I learned how to give and receive love. I was healed of my seven demons. I am learning to walk in that healing!

Recently, I saw a picture of ocean water. Immediately, I craved going on a trip to the beach ALONE- just me, my bible, journal and pen. God healed me and now I look forward to being quiet. Peace is valuable. Quiet is where God talks to me. The voices that I hear are healing, creative and hopeful.

So, God healed me of a multitude of demons without me sitting in a bed wearing dirty white pjs screaming babblings and threats. No one wearing a cross around their neck threw "holy" water on me while screaming at me, causing my head to do a 360. I never got to spit up green pea soup. My eyes didn't turn red. I did not get to levitate. Nothing cinematic-worthy happened. It was simple. I whispered God's name in my desperation. I died. The Gospel rescued me. I was re-born. I became a new creation. Old things are passed away. Everyday I get to live in the New. God is my source of life!